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This is a festivity which has roots going far back into the pagan and pre Celtic past of this country where each year is re-enacted an ancient pagan sacrifice of a young maiden as an appeasement of the fertility gods." Bollocks!" said Professor Potts-Johnson in his reedy and querulous tones. "And the full name of that one-horse arse hole of the universe is Little Sprodwell under Fosse - God help us all!" I beg your pardon, Professor, but I have this on the very best authority. The trouble with you locals is you can't see the wood for the trees. You are blind to the treasures to be found in your own back yard." Bollocks, if you will excuse the repetition, Professor! This particular shindig is as phoney and ersatz as it comes. Believe me, I know! The presiding genius is a relative of mine - the black sheep of the family and a total charlatan to boot! But, what the Hell? It'll be a nice day out and a goodly display of female flesh can be practically guaranteed if I know anything of the. Alan got his girls back......But he knew he was helpless for whatever came next.Father Fitzpatrick strode directly toward me, his mob not far behind.It was the torch-and-pitchfork variety of mob, with more than a fewassault rifles thrown into the mix. They were on the hunt for monsters,and I was the creation of our very own local Dr. Frankenstein. What doI do, I asked myself. If I barricade myself in Mariel's, they'll breakthe door down!! If I run, they'll just shoot me in the back!!I was frozen. I can't go anywhere!! I can't do anything!!"-Faugh!!" Father Fitzpatrick cried after he got within a few feet ofus. He covered his mouth and nose with one hand. "You two!! What isthat foul odor?!" Bad decisions," I warbled."And poo," Gary also warbled.He glared at the two of us. "You have been... copulating..." What?!" I cried."No!" Gary yelled."Ewwww!!" I added. Gary gaped at me, a little hurt."The foul aura around you confirms it!! Don't try to deny it!!" Themob rumbled. .
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